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(no subject)

May. 15th, 2008 | 08:10 pm

im doing well, in fact i would say that i have been quite proud of myself nothing will make me happier than getting to my lowest weight and then a new one etc. i have booked my holiday so its spurring me on. i cant look like this huge jello pot !

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(no subject)

May. 1st, 2008 | 06:27 pm

im anothe r pound down today but i swear im getting fatter its so sawful however tomorow 400cals max i swear it my myslef, im taking lax on sat as going for a meal but 400cals again on sunday hopefulli i can eat that without feeling bad :) i am not too happy though went to doctors for a diff pill but i cant get one :( 

i hope your all being strong

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(no subject)

Apr. 30th, 2008 | 06:13 pm

today has been good but i felt so guilty for eating the few cals i did i have taken two lax they seem not to be working as much as before i will just keep going, on the up side im down a pound today so pleased :) x

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(no subject)

Apr. 29th, 2008 | 04:13 pm

i cant seem to bring myself to post back onto the forum but i can here, i dont know why maybe im scared of getting found out again and its not worth that but please do still read my ournal as ill still be posting,
im totally hungry right now and i have to have tea i hate that living with parents its like an eagle eye but i have looked through the ktichen and decided what im haveing only 350cals today :) im feeling strong but i know i will want to take the lax again today,
i cant stop taking them i know i need to but its hard you know ?
 i know its worth it though i can tell even my wrists are smaller i can slightly tell except my stomach its so at and i hate it arrggh. i better not get into a rant,
hopefulli someone comments this just so i know  x

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(no subject)

Mar. 18th, 2008 | 09:43 am

i have started the pill and although i have been loosing it has been harder, does anybody think its due to that ?

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(no subject)

Feb. 24th, 2008 | 09:31 pm

im  sick of feeling like im starting tomorow im starting right now!
so i officially started my fast at 8pm and im going to do it for seven days if i have to resort to liquids i wont ber happy but at least i will not eat,
i have you all to help me and i realli hope that i lose,
i dare npot weigh yet though :( 

hopefulli i am happy when i get on the scale x

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(no subject)

Feb. 17th, 2008 | 11:56 am

so  today is the first day of usin my new diet pills im realli exctied and nervous at the same time,

i intended to get hoodia but this woman asdvised fibre diet ! so i got them they are meant to fill uyou up so even if you want to eat you are mega full,
you can take as many as you want as they dont have anything bad and if i get hungry i take 3 as a snaclk to fill me !! 
NO EATING FOR ME YEY 

so im starting the day with lemon tea for my metab and hopefulli i do wel x

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are you hungry ?

Feb. 13th, 2008 | 09:42 am

you are craving food right now, huh? What do you think you are doing? Don't you dare go anywhere near food! Don't touch it; don't even think about it. What do you want to do, become a fat cow? I am your best friend, and if you eat, you are failing me and letting me down. If you eat right it shows what little self-control you have. That pain in your stomach right now, that is me, and that is your fat melting away. When you feel empty, it means you are empty of your sins. Summer is coming up. You want to be able to walk around in booty shorts and a bikini top, don't you? You want to walk around in a bikini with your flat, firm little stomach and your toned little thighs. You to be able to run your hand over your stomach and feel your ribs. You want to go to the mall and see that skimpy outfit and know you would look damn good in it. You made a commitment to me. I am your life and obsession. Don't break what we have. I will give you everything you want, but you have to give me what I want. And I want you to stay away from food. Go have some water. Go drink some tea or coffee. Or better yet - go to the gym, fatty! Don't show me what little self-control you have. Don't defy me. You know that if you go eat right now, you will end up on your knees puking it all up until you see blood and water and your stomach is aching. You will regret eating as soon as those calories and that fat slip past your tonsils and down into your body to add to that extra roll on your stomach. You are going to get cellulite. You are going to look like the typical fat soccer mom. I can give you so much - I can give you a great body. Show me your control and I will show you a flat stomach. Show me you love me and can keep me a secret and stay away from food and I'll give you those shaped little thighs. Show me you can run until you drop and I will give you a cute ass. You love me. If you eat now and throw away what you are working for, I will hate you. And you will hate yourself. You have a meal plan; you have goals and dreams. Don't throw that all away now. Don't give up what you really want for something you want now. Don't eat. You are still no supermodel. Don't fail me. Don't eat!

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(no subject)

Feb. 13th, 2008 | 09:30 am

im get ting realli panicky about every little thing associated with food  dont want it,
i dont need it people think i cant survive without it . WE CAN 
so to say thwe least im nervous for eating today my mum is taking me out for breakfast i will just get tomatoes and beans its all i can think of to be healthy ( they only do hot things )    :( 

i didnt loose today i dont know why i will just push harder !

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(no subject)

Feb. 12th, 2008 | 09:54 am

 after my jog yesterday i was so pleased with myself i went for longer and further than i thought possible but it was worth it,
my arms and legs are aching so badly and my arms too but its worth it i lost 1lb and im pleased with that,
today im onli having tea (i have no choice) but it will come to 300cals max for sure i wont let myself have any more !! 
i hope i loose again im feeling strong and determined

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