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(no subject)
May. 15th, 2008 | 08:10 pm
im doing well, in fact i would say that i have been quite proud of myself nothing will make me happier than getting to my lowest weight and then a new one etc. i have booked my holiday so its spurring me on. i cant look like this huge jello pot !
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(no subject)
May. 1st, 2008 | 06:27 pm
im anothe r pound down today but i swear im getting fatter its so sawful however tomorow 400cals max i swear it my myslef, im taking lax on sat as going for a meal but 400cals again on sunday hopefulli i can eat that without feeling bad :) i am not too happy though went to doctors for a diff pill but i cant get one :(
i hope your all being strong
i hope your all being strong
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(no subject)
Apr. 30th, 2008 | 06:13 pm
today has been good but i felt so guilty for eating the few cals i did i have taken two lax they seem not to be working as much as before i will just keep going, on the up side im down a pound today so pleased :) x
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(no subject)
Apr. 29th, 2008 | 04:13 pm
i cant seem to bring myself to post back onto the forum but i can here, i dont know why maybe im scared of getting found out again and its not worth that but please do still read my ournal as ill still be posting,
im totally hungry right now and i have to have tea i hate that living with parents its like an eagle eye but i have looked through the ktichen and decided what im haveing only 350cals today :) im feeling strong but i know i will want to take the lax again today,
i cant stop taking them i know i need to but its hard you know ?
i know its worth it though i can tell even my wrists are smaller i can slightly tell except my stomach its so at and i hate it arrggh. i better not get into a rant,
hopefulli someone comments this just so i know x
im totally hungry right now and i have to have tea i hate that living with parents its like an eagle eye but i have looked through the ktichen and decided what im haveing only 350cals today :) im feeling strong but i know i will want to take the lax again today,
i cant stop taking them i know i need to but its hard you know ?
i know its worth it though i can tell even my wrists are smaller i can slightly tell except my stomach its so at and i hate it arrggh. i better not get into a rant,
hopefulli someone comments this just so i know x
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(no subject)
Mar. 18th, 2008 | 09:43 am
i have started the pill and although i have been loosing it has been harder, does anybody think its due to that ?
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(no subject)
Feb. 24th, 2008 | 09:31 pm
im sick of feeling like im starting tomorow im starting right now!
so i officially started my fast at 8pm and im going to do it for seven days if i have to resort to liquids i wont ber happy but at least i will not eat,
i have you all to help me and i realli hope that i lose,
i dare npot weigh yet though :(
hopefulli i am happy when i get on the scale x
so i officially started my fast at 8pm and im going to do it for seven days if i have to resort to liquids i wont ber happy but at least i will not eat,
i have you all to help me and i realli hope that i lose,
i dare npot weigh yet though :(
hopefulli i am happy when i get on the scale x
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(no subject)
Feb. 17th, 2008 | 11:56 am
so today is the first day of usin my new diet pills im realli exctied and nervous at the same time,
i intended to get hoodia but this woman asdvised fibre diet ! so i got them they are meant to fill uyou up so even if you want to eat you are mega full,
you can take as many as you want as they dont have anything bad and if i get hungry i take 3 as a snaclk to fill me !!
NO EATING FOR ME YEY
so im starting the day with lemon tea for my metab and hopefulli i do wel x
i intended to get hoodia but this woman asdvised fibre diet ! so i got them they are meant to fill uyou up so even if you want to eat you are mega full,
you can take as many as you want as they dont have anything bad and if i get hungry i take 3 as a snaclk to fill me !!
NO EATING FOR ME YEY
so im starting the day with lemon tea for my metab and hopefulli i do wel x
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are you hungry ?
Feb. 13th, 2008 | 09:42 am
you are craving food right now, huh? What do you think you are doing? Don't you dare go anywhere near food! Don't touch it; don't even think about it. What do you want to do, become a fat cow? I am your best friend, and if you eat, you are failing me and letting me down. If you eat right it shows what little self-control you have. That pain in your stomach right now, that is me, and that is your fat melting away. When you feel empty, it means you are empty of your sins. Summer is coming up. You want to be able to walk around in booty shorts and a bikini top, don't you? You want to walk around in a bikini with your flat, firm little stomach and your toned little thighs. You to be able to run your hand over your stomach and feel your ribs. You want to go to the mall and see that skimpy outfit and know you would look damn good in it. You made a commitment to me. I am your life and obsession. Don't break what we have. I will give you everything you want, but you have to give me what I want. And I want you to stay away from food. Go have some water. Go drink some tea or coffee. Or better yet - go to the gym, fatty! Don't show me what little self-control you have. Don't defy me. You know that if you go eat right now, you will end up on your knees puking it all up until you see blood and water and your stomach is aching. You will regret eating as soon as those calories and that fat slip past your tonsils and down into your body to add to that extra roll on your stomach. You are going to get cellulite. You are going to look like the typical fat soccer mom. I can give you so much - I can give you a great body. Show me your control and I will show you a flat stomach. Show me you love me and can keep me a secret and stay away from food and I'll give you those shaped little thighs. Show me you can run until you drop and I will give you a cute ass. You love me. If you eat now and throw away what you are working for, I will hate you. And you will hate yourself. You have a meal plan; you have goals and dreams. Don't throw that all away now. Don't give up what you really want for something you want now. Don't eat. You are still no supermodel. Don't fail me. Don't eat!
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(no subject)
Feb. 13th, 2008 | 09:30 am
im get ting realli panicky about every little thing associated with food dont want it,
i dont need it people think i cant survive without it . WE CAN
so to say thwe least im nervous for eating today my mum is taking me out for breakfast i will just get tomatoes and beans its all i can think of to be healthy ( they only do hot things ) :(
i didnt loose today i dont know why i will just push harder !
i dont need it people think i cant survive without it . WE CAN
so to say thwe least im nervous for eating today my mum is taking me out for breakfast i will just get tomatoes and beans its all i can think of to be healthy ( they only do hot things ) :(
i didnt loose today i dont know why i will just push harder !
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(no subject)
Feb. 12th, 2008 | 09:54 am
after my jog yesterday i was so pleased with myself i went for longer and further than i thought possible but it was worth it,
my arms and legs are aching so badly and my arms too but its worth it i lost 1lb and im pleased with that,
today im onli having tea (i have no choice) but it will come to 300cals max for sure i wont let myself have any more !!
i hope i loose again im feeling strong and determined
my arms and legs are aching so badly and my arms too but its worth it i lost 1lb and im pleased with that,
today im onli having tea (i have no choice) but it will come to 300cals max for sure i wont let myself have any more !!
i hope i loose again im feeling strong and determined
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(no subject)
Feb. 9th, 2008 | 03:21 pm
so i am sick of been neither here nor there i just never want to eat again the fire inside me to achieve this is so strong yet i seem to let myself down,
today i turned my liquid fast into a fast and have fasted all day so far :) x
today i turned my liquid fast into a fast and have fasted all day so far :) x
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(no subject)
Feb. 6th, 2008 | 05:19 pm
right so i have been singing a song to ana on my way home and i feel realli encouaged and enthusiastic i dont know why ha,
but as of now 5oclock a liquid fast begins for at least ten days :)))
if you want to jopin me please do !
but as of now 5oclock a liquid fast begins for at least ten days :)))
if you want to jopin me please do !
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(no subject)
Jan. 30th, 2008 | 05:41 pm
mood: excited
i am feeling happy right now this mornign i was two pounds down but bviously my weight is still disgusting at the moment im 148 and its grotesque today i have had under 300cals so far and the is being over estimating too,
i hope that i d well tomorow and if i loose two more then i will be at my lowest ever weight still gross thoguh
im going to an 18th on saturday so i want to look hot oh and im on my period so im thinking that i may be bloated and loose like another pound or too when i come off hehe i wish ....
i hope that i d well tomorow and if i loose two more then i will be at my lowest ever weight still gross thoguh
im going to an 18th on saturday so i want to look hot oh and im on my period so im thinking that i may be bloated and loose like another pound or too when i come off hehe i wish ....
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(no subject)
Jan. 27th, 2008 | 09:50 am
mood: imback
so i am back rightnow but my life this week has been hard i have been at college from 9 to 4 home at 5 and working on college work until 8 and im feelign sad about it it has led to me eating too but that is out of my system now and im ogin to severly resticrt this wekk hopefulli i can fast though it would make me even happier,
the good thing is my weight has not moved so i have not gained and my metab will be higher so hopefulli when i do this week i loose again,
i dont know how often ill be on here but i will definately post in my journal ih ave missed the suppost from you guys and girls :) x x
the good thing is my weight has not moved so i have not gained and my metab will be higher so hopefulli when i do this week i loose again,
i dont know how often ill be on here but i will definately post in my journal ih ave missed the suppost from you guys and girls :) x x
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(no subject)
Jan. 19th, 2008 | 02:41 pm
i am missing live journal and all of you so so much i really want to come on right now and talk to you but i dont deserve to im so sick of letting myself eat things and tunring it into a binge and so i have decided to punish myself,
im n ot coming back on meaning no reading or posting at all apart from in myu journal until i am my lowest weight i have about 6lbs to loose but hopefulli i will be back by the end of next wekk,
dont forget me ha x
im n ot coming back on meaning no reading or posting at all apart from in myu journal until i am my lowest weight i have about 6lbs to loose but hopefulli i will be back by the end of next wekk,
dont forget me ha x
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(no subject)
Jan. 13th, 2008 | 04:05 pm
my mum is full of questions likeyou need to stop obsessing so much about what you can and cant eat,
why are yoiur legs getting so skinny,
do you actualli buy food at college,
what is the name of that anorexia website your frined used to go on ??
and if you thought you had an eating problem who would you talk to ?
oh my gosh im freaking out i have had to have breakfast (canned tomatoes on toast 150 tops and a vegi subway for dinner i have had about 500 cals today alreayd and hses making me have tea i realli want to goet out of ea but dare not even go to the gym or anything,
any ideas ??
im nervous she knows
why are yoiur legs getting so skinny,
do you actualli buy food at college,
what is the name of that anorexia website your frined used to go on ??
and if you thought you had an eating problem who would you talk to ?
oh my gosh im freaking out i have had to have breakfast (canned tomatoes on toast 150 tops and a vegi subway for dinner i have had about 500 cals today alreayd and hses making me have tea i realli want to goet out of ea but dare not even go to the gym or anything,
any ideas ??
im nervous she knows
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(no subject)
Jan. 11th, 2008 | 09:53 pm
i have had 4 c rackerbreads with a tiny bit of butter so that under 100calories today
im pleased with myself but im super full and i dont like that feeling
not looking forward to the food aspect of tomorow night :( but i will be strong i hope !!
did fast 28hours before i had to eat so im happyish x
im pleased with myself but im super full and i dont like that feeling
not looking forward to the food aspect of tomorow night :( but i will be strong i hope !!
did fast 28hours before i had to eat so im happyish x
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(no subject)
Jan. 11th, 2008 | 04:57 pm
my fri end from college has just asked me and my boyfriend over for a meal to theirs tomorow night im hoping he means about 6 so that i can stil fit in the gym after work and wokrk before i go but i realli want to say just to cater for him his girlfriend and my boyfriend any ideas ?
god im nervous now 24 hours in though feeling strong :)
god im nervous now 24 hours in though feeling strong :)
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(no subject)
Jan. 10th, 2008 | 06:37 pm
i have been t rying so hard and my frined from college is on a healthy eating kick so although obviously mine is more extreme but it means that we are helping each other and although i dont want to eat sometimes if i want a binge i cant anyway so its all good,
i was so glad to see that people had been putting messages to me noticing that i had not been on and that is lovely i relalli luv all of you girl and guys :)
every interval im doing 50 sit ups and drinking tonnes of water hopefulli im strong again x
i was so glad to see that people had been putting messages to me noticing that i had not been on and that is lovely i relalli luv all of you girl and guys :)
every interval im doing 50 sit ups and drinking tonnes of water hopefulli im strong again x
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(no subject)
Jan. 3rd, 2008 | 10:24 pm
the gym today was good and i reallii think i worked realli hard but tomorow im going again and i wiill work even harder i will do more calories than todya and more sit-ups and reps too i will manage it,
i am gutted about the way i had to go to the indian i wish restaurants didnt serve people like me ewww,
i need to loose a pound a day to be happy i will loose 2 stone a month and then i would be nine stone at eight stone i would have a bmi of 17 it would be amazing ha.
keep going i know i copied this from somebodys post however i want o be able to refer to it always !
What 's wrong with you.?
Why the hell can you only think about food.?
What do you wana be, invied by others,
or have others sympythisse you cos your so fat.?
Don't you dare eat. If you eat, you'll never reach that dream body you want.
You'll never look good. Go ahead and eat. Go ahead and stuff your face with everything you see.
You have absolutly no control....You're letting yourself down. you're letting me down.
You call yourself an Anorexic, but you eat all day. hour after hour you consume those discusting calories.
"oh my god it hurts to much!" DEAL WITH IT.! the pain is good. If you dont feel pain, how do you know its working.?
You're no Anorexic. You're a fake. keep going the way you're going. & you'll see that this summer you will discust everyone with the fat jiggling over your bikini. Keep disapoiting me. You can save yourself right now. Take my hand, and i'll help you be thin. But dont EVER let me down again.
-Ana-
i am gutted about the way i had to go to the indian i wish restaurants didnt serve people like me ewww,
i need to loose a pound a day to be happy i will loose 2 stone a month and then i would be nine stone at eight stone i would have a bmi of 17 it would be amazing ha.
keep going i know i copied this from somebodys post however i want o be able to refer to it always !
What 's wrong with you.?
Why the hell can you only think about food.?
What do you wana be, invied by others,
or have others sympythisse you cos your so fat.?
Don't you dare eat. If you eat, you'll never reach that dream body you want.
You'll never look good. Go ahead and eat. Go ahead and stuff your face with everything you see.
You have absolutly no control....You're letting yourself down. you're letting me down.
You call yourself an Anorexic, but you eat all day. hour after hour you consume those discusting calories.
"oh my god it hurts to much!" DEAL WITH IT.! the pain is good. If you dont feel pain, how do you know its working.?
You're no Anorexic. You're a fake. keep going the way you're going. & you'll see that this summer you will discust everyone with the fat jiggling over your bikini. Keep disapoiting me. You can save yourself right now. Take my hand, and i'll help you be thin. But dont EVER let me down again.
-Ana-